Today, I received harsh criticism from h† again.

The fuse for it was "pirate radio."

When I boasted about how interesting its recent spread on Twitter was,

they dismissed it as "unavoidable for a group of people in their forties."

Then, people in their thirties...

So, if teenagers and people in their twenties don't react, it's meaningless.

That's what they said.

Moreover,

I was clearly told that it's impossible for me at my age.

Certainly, that might be true. Perhaps so.

Of course, I have no intention of enjoying this program solely for my own pleasure,

but...

If I were to be accused of being content with a small circle of activity,

I might have no choice but to falter.

As proof, there are no sponsors.

Radio is hardly a luxury pursuit?
Not at all. We are completely surrounded in that regard,
with no room for even an ant to crawl through.

No deception.

Listen, if the program truly had influence,

there would be sponsors, events would be held,

and the performers, staff, and you would all be better off than before.

Why isn't what you're doing a viable business?

If you're seriously considering that...

Yes, you wouldn't have a moment to spare for posturing.

And besides, don't you have much time left?

…However, in a sense, my situation is...
That is, I'm cornered, and a simple answer isn't forthcoming...

No deception.

Yes. That's true. Not just about me,
but about society as well, I believe we are in a situation
where we cannot deceive ourselves about anything.

Don't use "society" to deceive.

Don't use "we" to obscure the subject and deceive.

No deception.

Prioritize "me" and immediately solve my own problems.

Solve myself first, then consider "society."

No deception. I won't deceive myself any longer.

Yes. I understand.

From now on, I will act only after thorough consideration.

Thoroughly consider, and thoroughly, thoroughly, thoroughly, thoroughly,

Inspector, we found a blood-stained jumper.

I see. Then thoroughly investigate the connection between that jumper and the victim,

thoroughly. Hurry up, understand?

SFX: Sound of a washing machine running.

Ah, I... I washed it. I washed it thoroughly.

Don't try to cover it up with a laugh.

I'm sorry.

If "I'm sorry" were enough, we wouldn't need the police.

Stab myself in the gut, no deception.

Hang myself, no deception.

Understood, boss.

Don't try to get away with calling me "boss."

Cannot deceive. Cannot deceive. Cannot deceive.

Today, I am convinced that I have properly reflected.

I have deeply vowed to stop deceiving myself from this day forward.

Now, to have this opportunity for disciplinary action (kōki shukusei) was

truly fortunate for the remainder of my life.

This important lesson, as a proposal for the future,

in "A Dictionary of Wisdom for a Bright Future,"

I want to record it properly.

"Wisdom of the Sages"

1. Do not stray beyond the scope of your responsibilities.

For example, if you want to donate,
collect donations properly.
Then, entrust the collected funds to professionals.
If those professionals do a sloppy job,
that is beyond my knowledge.
That sloppy professional should be the one to think about it carefully.
I have fulfilled my responsibility.

2. Express your opinion, but if it cannot be realized, give up.

For example, if asked to propose a plan for work, I will present my own.
However, if the other party says, "That's a bit..."
I won't push it further. Therefore, sometimes things turn out differently than I wanted, but the results are generally successful.


3. I have no memory of asking anyone to do work for me.
I have only done what I was asked to do.


Furthermore, "Whispers of the Wise"

I feel no stress living in Tokyo.
I even think I could live in Fukushima.

I haven't eaten pork or beef for over ten years,
but I've never once felt it was good for my health.
That said, I've never regretted not eating meat.

If it doesn't hurt, I think it's better to die as soon as possible.
I've thought this way for a long time.
Of course, I don't want to commit suicide, but if it's fate...


Monologue

What does it mean to be cool?
What does it mean to gain fame?
What does it mean to be rich?
What does it mean to succeed?
What does it mean to be happy?
What does it mean to feel pleasure?
What does it mean to not deceive?

What does it mean to live?



This is an adaptation of a work sent to me by the artist Takehiko Kamei.



← Diary-T 255-260