If I Have to Endure, I'd Rather Quit!

As I mentioned, the reason I decided to quit drinking was that alcohol no longer tasted good going down. Yet, for the past few years, I'd been forcing myself to drink, thinking, 'I must be able to drink!' I'd repeat the cycle of drinking until I was slightly tipsy, when I could no longer discern the taste, and then drink normally. But even I finally started to think, 'Maybe I don't need to go to such lengths to drink...' At the same time, the desire to 'experience a life without alcohol' arose (since I've been drinking since adulthood), which led to my New Year's resolution to quit.

When I asked around about how to quit, most people replied, 'Why not just moderate? You could just drink on special occasions?' But that's impossible for me! Knowing my personality, it's either 'drink' or 'don't drink.' Besides, if I were to 'reduce my intake,' it would mean I'm enduring it when I'm not drinking. If I have to endure, I'd rather quit altogether!

Quitting Alcohol Means Deepening Meditation

I started implementing this after the New Year's holiday. However, I gave up on the idea of quitting cold turkey from the start. Instead, I planned to gradually increase the number of alcohol-free days, aiming to stop by the end of March. Following this plan, I abstained from alcohol 2-3 times a week in January, 4 times a week in February, and 5 times a week since March. This means I'm currently drinking only twice a week. For those who don't drink, 'twice a week' might sound like a lot, but for me, it's the minimum frequency. Incidentally, one of those two occasions involves about one glass of beer, and the other is when I go out for girls' nights, dinners, or celebrations, where I drink at the same pace as everyone else. So, without even planning it, I've ended up adopting the 'drink on special occasions' approach that everyone advised.

But am I enduring it on the days I don't drink? Not really. For a brief moment before dinner, the thought 'I want to drink' arises, but I can easily let it pass and dismiss the craving. This is both unexpected and somewhat expected for me. In fact, I'm doing something else concurrently with my attempt to quit alcohol. I'm deepening my meditation practice. I covered this in my January series, but by meditating, I hope to curb my desires, gain better control over my mind, and become less susceptible to alcohol. My plan to quit drinking is progressing steadily, so in a way, you could say my meditation is proving effective.

Instead of Quitting Alcohol, I've Started Craving Sweets!

However, as I steadily moved towards quitting alcohol, a new problem emerged: I've started craving sweets. I don't use sugar in my cooking, and while I'll happily eat sweets given as gifts, I never buy them for myself. I also don't eat dessert when dining out, but I used to have a digestif. As the number of alcohol-free days increased, I began to crave sweets. I've heard that people who don't drink alcohol tend to like sweets, and it seems to be true for me. It appears to be an instinctive response, trying to fill the void left by alcohol with sweets.

Excessive sugar intake is undoubtedly detrimental to beauty and health. You've probably heard the term 'glycation' frequently these days (or perhaps only women have?), which occurs when proteins in the body react with sugars from food, forming glycated proteins that accumulate in the body. What's frightening about this is that it significantly accelerates skin aging, leading to loss of elasticity, wrinkles, sagging, and a dull yellowish complexion.

Come to think of it, there was a period when I had reduced my alcohol intake but hadn't yet started craving sugar. My skin looked clearer and brighter, and the yellowish tinge seemed to have disappeared. I hadn't specifically reduced my fruit or carbohydrate intake, nor had I increased my exercise. The only thing I changed was my drinking habits. Previously, I used to start drinking before dinner on an empty stomach, causing a rapid spike in my blood sugar levels. This might have accelerated glycation and contributed to my skin's dull yellowish complexion.

However, sweets are a more potent cause of glycation. Like alcohol, they can easily become a habit. As expected, I've recently found myself craving something sweet after every meal. And when I eat it, what bliss! So, it's precisely because alcohol and sweets offer such easy bliss that people crave them. But bliss can also be achieved through meditation. This means that if I can attain bliss through meditation, I won't crave alcohol or sweets anymore! Before I become addicted to sugar, I must learn to deepen my meditation. Instead of Quitting Alcohol, I've Started Craving Sweets!

One Trouble Solved, Another Arises??

Since this isn't something that can be fixed overnight, as a temporary measure, I've decided to indulge in sweets that seem good for my body (though that's not the real issue). My favorite is chocolate from 'Antica Dolceria Bonajuto,' made only with cacao (90%), sugar, and spices, without any food additives like emulsifiers. I discovered it as a gift, and it's truly delicious. The one in the photo above has salt from Motzia. I also sometimes lick 'HACCI' honey (which contains hyaluronic acid), which I've been using in my cooking for a while, after meals, and I always keep organic fruit and nut mix in my bag. Still, it feels like 'one trouble solved, and another arises.' Humans are truly greedy (or is it just me!).

Oh, and March, the month I set for my drinking limit, is about to end. For now, I'm thinking of approaching alcohol not by quitting entirely, but by adopting a 'drink on special occasions' stance. It's not just because I want to drink, but also because it seems to bring joy to the people around me. No, no, that's a genuinely serious reason. After all, I want to know what it feels like to be able to refrain from drinking anytime, anywhere, and I have this desire to one day be able to say, 'No, thank you. I don't drink,' with a cool composure. The key is 'not drinking,' not 'not being able to drink.' Isn't that wonderful, like someone who has self-control and intellect? In other words, I aspire to be that kind of person.
P.S. Before I become that person, if you happen to see me drinking somewhere, I would appreciate it if you could look upon it with a warm gaze, thinking, 'She must be celebrating a special occasion today'...!