"Wedding Hymn" by Hiroshi Yoshino

For the two of you to live in harmony,
It is better to be foolish.
It is better not to be too respectable.
To be too respectable
Is to know that it will not last.
It is better not to aim for perfection.
That perfection is unnatural,
It is better to pretend.
For one of the two of you
To be playful is better.
To stumble is better.
Even if you criticize each other,
Whether you had the right to criticize
Later,
It is better to doubt.
When you say something right,
It is better to be a little reserved.
When you say something right,
It is easy to hurt the other person,
It is better to realize that.
To want to be respectable,
Or to want to be right,
Such forced tension
Without looking sideways,
Leisurely and abundantly,
It is better to bask in the light.
Being healthy and feeling the wind,
The nostalgia of being alive
Suddenly, your heart warms.
It is okay to have such a day.
And then,
Why your heart warms,
Even without speaking,
I hope the two of you understand.

Married People Understand, Unmarried People Don't Get It?

This poem has been widely shared, not only in the poetry collection ( "For the two of you to live in harmony" by Hiroshi Yoshino, published by Dōwa Shuppan) but also online and on television. It is now recited as a congratulatory message at many weddings and used in wedding pamphlets. Even so, those who are not married might not fully grasp its meaning when they read it. However, many married people likely agree, thinking, "Yes, yes. This is what's important in marriage." That is probably why it is chosen as a message for those about to marry.

Perhaps if I had read this poem before I was married, I would have just gotten indignant, thinking, "Huh? Why is it better to be foolish?" Nowadays, I sometimes joke, "They say you should observe your partner with both eyes open before marriage and close one eye after marriage, but I've closed both eyes." But I've come to think that "that much is just right." I suspect my husband feels the same way (laughs). However, it took about three years of marriage for me to reach that point. Before that, I couldn't even close one eye (though I still sometimes open both eyes wide).

Wishing Happiness to the June Brides!

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages, but when we first got married, my focus was on my partner's weaknesses and disadvantages. But when I thought about it, I have weaknesses and disadvantages too (many of them). Isn't that what being a couple is about – complementing each other? It's pointless to focus on your partner's shortcomings with both eyes wide open while ignoring your own. I've come to think that. And gradually, I've come to accept things with a "well, it's okay" attitude, except for what I truly value and hold core. In other words, in my case, it took three years to develop the capacity to accept my partner.

To avoid misunderstanding, let me add that this "well, it's okay" is by no means resignation. Because when you accept in that way, the other person will also accept you. Then, you will feel a greater desire to accept them.—. This is a positive "well, it's okay" because it stems from recognizing these subtle emotional shifts. Of course, there are people like the Virgin Mary who can give love regardless of whether they are accepted, but I am not there yet. Also, in my household, my partner showed acceptance first, and I was able to go along with it.

And now, I am the "boke" (funny man) in the comedy duo of "boke" and "tsukkomi" (straight man). I am grateful to my husband, who accepts me as I am, allowing me to fully embrace my foolishness (while giving me a sideways glance). If my foolish self were not accepted by my partner, we could not be a harmonious couple. To those planning a June wedding (and of course, to everyone, married or not), please keep "Wedding Hymn" in a corner of your heart. For your own sake, and for the sake of your future together. Wishing you much happiness!