LOUNGE /
FEATURES
October 6, 2015
Series | Bar OPENERS Vol. 7: The Fool
Series | Bar OPENERS
“The Endearingly Silly” (1)
This is “Bar OPENERS,” a fictional bar that exists only online. It’s a rare place where adults who enjoy spirits, music, and the atmosphere of a bar can find relaxation. The proprietor is Hiroyuki Kobayashi, who actually runs his own bar. In this series, he’ll share his relaxed, OPENERS-style approach to enjoying a bar, along with witty anecdotes about drinks and music that you can use tonight.
Text by KOBAYASHI HiroyukiPhotographs by ITO Yuji (OPENERS)
Welcome, how are you tonight?
In my line of work, I meet all sorts of people. Some reveal their true selves under the influence of alcohol, while others seem to transform into entirely different people. Everyone is truly unique. Occasionally, I encounter those who seem to enjoy playing various roles depending on the moment. A bartender notices these things, you know.
Among them, I often hear people say, “He’s so naturally airheaded,” or “She’s so naturally airheaded.” But have you ever actually met someone who is truly airheaded?
It’s reported that in recent years, due to changes in the times and climate, ecosystems are shifting. Natural specimens are decreasing, while farmed ones are increasing. The spread of the internet has led to genetically modified organisms, and globalization has introduced more invasive species.
One day, a regular customer told me, “I’m bringing a truly airheaded girl next time, please take care of her.”
I’ve met many people described as airheaded, but most of them seemed to be acting that way intentionally, or perhaps pretending to be airheaded, which always struck me as a bit suspicious.
Genuine airheads are rare; most seem to be the farmed variety.
However, the chance to meet a “truly natural” person, whom I’d privately considered an endangered species, was an experience I eagerly anticipated. And then, one evening, it happened.
She took her seat, exchanged greetings with the regular, and after I was introduced and we’d made some small talk, I asked for her order. Her response was a single sentence.
“How many years have you been alive?” Of course, we all burst into laughter.
Hearing she was described as airheaded, I understood immediately. She meant to ask, “How old are you?” Normally, when asked my age, I answer directly because I dislike the perfunctory evasiveness. But a mischievous impulse took over, and I asked, “How old do you think I look?” She replied, “Hmm, are you in your double digits?” This sent us into another fit of laughter.
I was in my early thirties at the time, and she was in her early twenties. She had meant to ask, “Are you in your twenties?” “Well, you’re right, it’s neither a single digit nor a triple digit,” I said, and then, “I got a six-pack in one night” (laughs).
It had been a long time since I’d met a genuine one. A truly lovely, silly soul.
The Endearingly Silly on CoQ10
Series | Bar OPENERS
“The Endearingly Silly” (2)
Tom Jobim Isn't Just for Summer
After that, she’d say things like “送迎バス” (sougei basu - shuttle bus) as “お見送りバス” (omiyuki basu - farewell bus), or “コエンザイムQ10” (Coenzyme Q10) as “コエンザイム10点” (Coenzyme 10 points). The list is endless, but this woman is undeniably a natural.
We were having so much fun that I hadn’t even taken her order yet. When I finally asked, she requested, “Something that tastes like alcohol, is sweet, refreshing, and a bit like a cocktail.” A request that sounds simple yet is incredibly difficult.
There’s no cure for silliness, but there are many effective cocktails. From those, I decided to prescribe a Stinger.
A short cocktail of shaken cognac and white mint
For this, we’ll use “GET 31” for the white mint. The Jet brothers who created this liqueur were, one suspects, also naturally inclined. They intended to write “Peppermint,” but in their haste, they misspelled it as “Pippermint.” They embraced this as a way to differentiate themselves from competitors and pushed forward. Truly airheaded.
Though it may be hard to tell in the photo, the bottle still reads “Pippermint” at the bottom.
And this time, we’ll add a slight twist to the Stinger.
Let’s use Armagnac as the base, and instead of shaking, we’ll stir it. Then, add a mint leaf. I’ll clap it between my palms. While keeping my hands together, I’ll silently wish, “May it be delicious,” then drop it into the mixing glass and stir. Pour it into the glass, and float the mint leaf on top. The amber liquid and the green leaf evoke the image of autumn leaves beginning to change color.
The gentle Armagnac, gradually deepening in color like the autumn foliage, is revived by the crisp mint, coloring summer’s warm memories and poignant recollections like the changing leaves.
Now, to pair with this cocktail, we have Antônio Carlos Jobim.
Commonly known as Tom Jobim. One of the most important composers of the 20th century, so celebrated that an international airport is named in his honor. It’s impossible to begin without mentioning the likes of João Gilberto and Vinicius de Moraes... but for our regulars, you know the drill: “Please search for it yourself.” And with that, I disappear (laughs).
Don't Say Jobim is Only for Summer
Like the cocktail, this is a song that evokes summer memories while being enveloped in the colors of autumn. His later works, in particular, feature many such pieces.
If the title made you think “How Insensitive,” prepare to be delightfully surprised by a bossa nova rhythm. This is “Ligia” from the album “Urubu.”
Betrayal must be beautiful.
This song is said to be about longing for a married woman, and the lyrics are wonderfully tsundere. She truly is endearingly silly. It’s no wonder she had a doctor looking after her for years.
For those interested, you know what to do.
The seasons are changing. It’s that time of year when colds are common. How are you all holding up?
Centuries ago, colds, infectious diseases, and mental illnesses were attributed to demonic influence. Aside from actual infections and viruses, a cold can be seen as the body’s way of purifying itself, and nightmares as the mind’s. So, rather than overthinking it, let’s embrace it. Health starts with the mind. They say the foolish don’t get sick, and I don’t catch colds. Perhaps I am the truly silly one.
To you, the night, and the music, cheers.