I was anorexic, constantly dieting and worrying about my weight

MunemiWhen did you first start modeling?

MunemiWhen did you first start modeling as a model?

KateI was about 17, as a skinny model. At the time, I was attending high school in San Diego, California, where I grew up. I started modeling in LA.

KateI was almost 17 years old, as a skinny model. I was a high school student in San Diego, California where I grew up. I started modeling out in LA.

MunemiHow many years did you work as a skinny model?

MunemiSo how many years did you work as a skinny model?

KateI worked as a skinny model for three years. About a year and a half until I graduated high school, then I moved to New York. A few months later, I was in Paris. I did two seasons of shows in Paris and Milan. But there was always the feeling that I should be thinner for runway modeling. Even when I was at my thinnest, I was constantly worried about my weight and repeatedly went on extreme diets. Still, I could never achieve the ideal thinness for a model.

KateI was a skinny model for 3 years. I modeled for about a year and half until I finished high school, then I moved to NY when I was 18.
A few months later I moved to Paris, and did a whole Paris, Milan thing, did 2 seasons shows. But I was never skinny enough.
You know, I was always struggling with my weight even when I was at my skinniest, I was never really skinny enough.

After a year and a half of modeling full-time in New York and Europe, I told myself I couldn't continue any longer; I was dying. I also didn't want to be part of an industry that sent out messages that made women feel insecure about themselves. Essentially, I was starving myself just to be a model, and as a model, I was projecting a message to other women about how they should look. But somewhere, I knew I could send a different message to women.

And after a year and half of modeling full time in NY and Europe, I just said I can’t keep this up anymore, it’s killing me. And I really didn’t want to be a part of an industry that making women feel bad about themselves. Here I was, starving myself just to be a model, and as a model, I was basically telling other women to how they needed to look. And I had this idea that to be a part of making a better message for women in the world.

So I quit modeling and returned to my hometown, waiting about two years for my weight to stabilize. It increased quite a bit, maybe around 18 kilograms. Then I learned how to be truly comfortable in my own skin. Although my weight might have increased significantly compared to my modeling days, and by fashion industry standards I might be considered extremely overweight, I was still within a normal range for the general population. I realized then that I had much more to offer the world, and that I could be attractive, successful, and healthy. What you give to the world from within, your state of mind, how interesting and intelligent you are – these are far more important than how you look; they are true value.—Because there will always be someone more beautiful, someone better looking.—.

And after a year and half of modeling full time in NY and Europe, I just said I can’t keep this up anymore, it’s killing me. And I really didn’t want to be a part of an industry that making women feel bad about themselves. Here I was, starving myself just to be a model, and as a model, I was basically telling other women to how they needed to look. And I had this idea that to be a part of making a better message for women in the world.

I realized that I have a lot to give and be attractive and successful and healthy, have more to do with what you have to give from inside and what your heart is like and how funny you are and how smart you are, that was more important than what you look like.

Because there is always going to be somebody more beautiful, or better looking.

Latest Video
http://www.vogue.com/voguediaries/2010_April_Kate_Dillon/

My Career Truly Blossomed After Becoming a Plus-Size Model

MunemiWas that in the 90s?

MunemiSo that was in 90’s?

KateYes, 1992 and 1993. I was very successful as a skinny model too. I was really lucky. I worked with all the major magazines, top photographers from around the world, and photographers who were just starting out then but are now very famous. However, my career truly blossomed when I became a plus-size model. I became the first plus-size model to be featured in Vogue, and also in Elle and Glamour. It was only when I became truly comfortable in my own skin that people started to see me as a really good model.

KateYes, It was 1992, 1993. And I did really well as a skinny model, really lucky, worked with all the big fashion magazines, I worked with really top photographers also who were starting out then and now really a big photographers. But I would say as a plus size model my career really blossomed. I was the first plus size model to be featured in Vogue, I was featured in Elle, Glamour... It wasn’t until I really got comfortable in my own skin that people started to really think of me as a really good model.

MunemiHow did it all start as a plus-size model?

MunemiHow did it all start as a plus size model?

KateI was 22 years old, around 1996, I believe. Although I had left New York, I loved it and decided to return. I wasn't sure what I would do, but I came back to New York. Then one day, a friend said, "You know, I've seen plus-size models, and they're not what you might think. They're just normal, beautiful girls like you. Why don't you try it?"

KateI was 22 years old, and this was like 1996. And I had left NY but I loved NY and wanted to move back there. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I moved back. And a friend of mine said, “ You know, I’ve seen plus size models, and they are not what you think they are. They are beautiful girls like you are. They are normal girls. Maybe you should do it.”

So I thought, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could be a plus-size model? I was already successful as a regular model, so making a comeback in a different way sounds really interesting."
When I think about fashion, it challenges me. Fashion is constantly evolving and challenging the ideal image of beauty. There are women with gaps between their teeth, women with crooked noses, women with large noses, women whose eyes are too far apart, or whose lips are too big. I thought, "I'm just bigger than other models; isn't that my unique characteristic?" And I felt that fashion was ready to embrace this.

And I was thinking “ Oh, my gosh. Isn’t this so amazing to go up there and be a plus size model because I knew that I had had been quite successful in the industry before and it would be so fun to come back.” I mean when I think about fashion, it always pushes me envelop, it’s always changing and challenging ideal images of beauty, you have women have gaps in their teeth, you have women crooked noses and big noses and eyes are way too far apart and lips are way too big, and I was thinking that I’m just bigger than the other girls that’s my weird quirky thing, and I felt that’s something fashion was ready to take on.

If that's the case, wouldn't the impact I could have on women worldwide be immense? Many women are constantly dieting or struggling with insecurity because they worry about not having the ideal body type. But, I'm not perfect either, and I'll never be perfect. However, I don't care about that. Even if I could achieve a perfect look, I don't think it would make me a more interesting person. What makes me interesting comes from within. And the less I worried about my appearance, the more attractive I felt. This is definitely what I experienced; my career took off the moment I freed myself from the idea of how my body 'should' be. As a result, I achieved great success as a plus-size model. I believe these outcomes are possible when you accept yourself, find peace within, and become comfortable with your body.
It's been 14 years since I started as a plus-size model.

And I figured if it had and did, the impact that I would have to women in all over the world would be so huge because women are consistently battling with their weight, battling with their self esteem to result of they think they are not perfect.
But you know, I know I’m not perfect, and never going to be perfect, and I don’t care, because it doesn’t really make me that interesting to be perfect. What interesting is what I have in inside. And, actually the less I thought about my external appearance I felt more attractive.
Certainly, that was the impression I had because soon as I kind of let go of all of these ideas about where my body needed to be, my career really took off. And I had an amazing success as a plus size. So this is like the result of what you get when you really find a peace in within yourself and find the ability to be comfortable with your body. And now, it’s 14 years ago that I started plus size modeling.

I Walk on the Beach in a Bikini, Even Knowing I Have Cellulite

MunemiI remember being impressed by how comfortable you were with yourself the first time I worked with you; you seemed to radiate. That's quite rare. Even when working with beautiful, tall, and skinny models, I don't encounter that often.

MunemiWhen first time I worked with you, I was amazed how comfortable you are with yourself, and it shines you. I mean I don’t see that often with regular models even they are so beautiful and tall and skinny.

KateI think every woman, regardless of her body type, can relate to the feeling of being bound by the notion of how she 'should' be, rather than being free to be herself. I've been working on this since I was very young and put in a lot of effort. I realized I had a special gift to accept and liberate myself.

KateEvery woman, whether you are bigger or smaller whatever you are, can relate to not having the freedom within yourself, not having the sense of being sort of liberated from this constant need to be something other than who you are. And that was something I put a lot of energy into overcoming when I was quite young.
And I knew that it’s kind of special thing I had and not a lot of women have that I am over it and I am comfortable in my own body.

But I'm just like any other woman. I struggle sometimes, and I don't wake up every morning thinking, "I'm beautiful!" There are days when I don't feel that way. But honestly, while many women are very concerned about their appearance, I walk on the beach in a bikini, even knowing I have cellulite. And I think many men don't even notice such things. My husband certainly doesn't understand. When I show him and say, "Look at my cellulite," he just says, "I don't know what you're talking about."

And you know, I’m like any other woman, I struggle at times, and I don't wake up every morning and say, “I’m beautiful!” There are some days I don’t feel that way, but you know the truth the matter is I wear a string biniki on the beach and I walk around even I know I have cellulite and I know that the reality is that more women are concerned about the way they look. I also believe that most men are just totally oblivious. My husband is clueless, when I look at him I show him “ Look at my cellulite.” And he’s like “ I don’t even know what you are talking about.”

What I can say is that people tend to be unnecessarily harsh on themselves. I believed this 15 years ago, and I still believe it today: if we spent more of our energy and time on creating, learning, and pursuing humor, rather than on how to look better or trying to fit into some conventional mold of beauty dictated by society, the world would be a better place.

I know that people are so much harder on themselves than they need to be and I believed this 15 years ago and I believe this now that if we spend a lot more of our energy sort of working on developing our creativity, developing out intelligence, developing our sense of humor that we probably would be a lot better off as a world rather than spending so much time to fix how we look and trying to attain some sort of official idea of perfection.

Kate Dillon
An American model. She began her modeling career in the early 1990s. After a period of anorexia led her to quit modeling, she returned several years later as a plus-size model. She gained attention for actively promoting a new perspective on beauty and is also involved in environmental and humanitarian causes.

Her work has been widely featured in media outlets such as CNN's Anderson Cooper 360, Good Morning America, and the PBS NOVA series, as well as in magazines like Vogue, Glamour, and People. To support her volunteer work, she earned a Master's degree in Public Administration with a focus on developing country aid from the Harvard Kennedy School.

She has recently returned to full-time modeling while also co-founding the Komera Project, which provides scholarships for Rwandan girls to pursue secondary education, and co-managing stylecommune.com, a platform for environmentally conscious and fair trade style.

Kate Dillon is known in the fashion industry as a groundbreaker and a passionate advocate for environmental and humanitarian causes. Her work has been widely featured in the media, including on Anderson Cooper 360, Good Morning America, and the PBS NOVA series as well as in Vogue, Glamour, and People. In order to be a more effective advocate, Kate completed a Master’s in Public Administration in International Development at the Harvard Kennedy School in 2009 where she won an award for her thesis on reducing emissions from deforestation and forest degradation in Bolivia. Now back in the fashion industry full time, Kate continues to model while serving as vice-president of the Komera Project, a fund that provides scholarships for secondary education to girls in Rwanda, and is co-founder of stylecommune.com, a website for socially conscious style currently in development.